We sit down to eat lunch. "You know, I had a friend once who always complained about not having enough money, but she was so wasteful with food..." It's the same story that I've heard, without fail, every time we eat together. I respond like I'm hearing it for the first time.
At the end of the meal she comments that the food tasted great. But an hour and a half later, she wonders if we've already eaten lunch.
My mother-in-law had a stroke two years ago, and because of it, her short-term memory was affected. She recognizes her family and she remembers the past, but in the day-to-day activities she simply can't remember what happens. She can't really be left alone, because she forgets where we are or what she's supposed to be doing. One of the main reasons we moved back here is because God gave us a burden to care for my husband's family, and especially his mom.
Some days she remembers that she had a stroke, and then she recognizes that her memory isn't as it should be. I can't imagine what she goes through when she is faced with her own weakness! It destroys her emotionally when she can't find someone or something in the house, and knows she can't do anything about it. It confuses her mentally when she sees things done in a way that hasn't been done before, and doesn't realize she was the one who did it. It burdens her spiritually to care about the welfare of her children but constantly not know how they're doing. And it hurts her physically if she overuses her right arm, which was paralyzed at first after her stroke.
As I spend my days with her, sometimes I wonder why I do what I do. Why make a nice meal if, within the hour, she will forget about it? Why initiate an activity when it will only last 10 minutes and then she'll be tired? Why invite friends and family over when, after they've left, she will have no recollection of them being here? Her face lights up with joy when she's doing something she loves, like teaching piano to a student, but that joy always seems so short-lived.
God is teaching me something through my mother-in-law's condition, though. And that is, Live in the moment. Sing, pray, laugh, play, eat, reminisce, share deeply, cry, create...make the most of all opportunities. And enjoy them as they are. Have you ever had one of those holidays where you were so caught up in trying to take pictures and preserve the memories that you didn't stop to enjoy what memories you were making in the moment? We need to slow down.
A story has been going around on Facebook lately (you can read it by clicking here) about a man playing violin at a Metro Station in Washington, D.C. He played for an hour and collected a total of only $32, and no one applauded or paid attention, except a few young children who stopped and watched curiously, but being quickly hurried along by their parents. "No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music."
No one saw the beauty of what was happening.
If that can happen so easily in a metro station, how much more does it happen in our own lives? As we go about our days, our routines, our responsibilities, how much beauty are we missing out on?
It takes situations like my mother-in-law is in to remind me to slow down and appreciate what I have right here, right now. The psalmist prayed, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12). When you're in a condition like my mother-in-law is, you take things one day at a time. In fact, five minutes at a time. Every five minutes is precious, and every five minutes is new.
I know it's easy to be so eager for the next stage of life, or be worried about tomorrow, that we miss out on the joys of where we're at now. When you're young and single, you dream about being married. Then once you're married, all your friends start having babies and soon you want to be a parent. When you're a parent, you can't wait for your children to leave the house so you can have peace and quiet again. Then once the children are gone, you long for the gift of grandchildren to once again fill your home with laughter.
While no stage of life is easy, every stage of life is worth it. Take a look at this challenge in James 4:
13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.
We don't only sin by doing something wrong...we sin by not doing something right.
Why is it worth it for me to cook something special for my mother-in-law? Because she'll enjoy it for that hour. Why is it worth it doing an activity together? Because it's good therapy that aids in her healing. Why is it worth it for her to get together with friends? Because as humans, we need relationship, and every conversation plants seeds.
Why is it worth it to pause from your busy agenda and listen to a violin in a metro station? Because in that time, you can "stop and smell the roses" and appreciate beauty...simply because.
Why is it worth it to cancel a meeting (the third this week) and instead spend an evening with your family? Because our days are numbered. Why is it worth it to pay for the order of the person behind you in the drive-thru? Because that may be the only glimpse of hope they have that day. Why is it worth it to show extra patience with the clerk in the store when you're having trouble finding everything you need (or just want)? Because she's already been faced with dozens of customers throughout the day hastily and greedily clamoring to check things off their Christmas list. Why is it worth it to donate items to a homeless shelter, release a child from poverty, or send a goat to a family in need? Because faith, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead (James 2:17).
Every five minutes counts. Ephesians 5:15-18 says, "Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit."
As Christians, we live in this "already-but-not-yet" tension. We have the hope of eternal life, but we haven't experienced heaven yet. We have the Holy Spirit living inside of us, but one day we will see Christ Himself face to face. Our citizenship is in heaven but meanwhile we live as strangers on this earth. Christ's death brought full victory over death and pain, but we fight every day against temptation.
In Lamentations 3 there is a beautiful passage:
19I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
God's grace is new every morning...and every five minutes. His well never runs dry. And I challenge you today: how do you need God's grace in this moment? What is one thing you can take thirty seconds to appreciate, simply because it's a reflection of God's goodness? Who is one person that needs caring for today? Life is too short to live in unforgiveness and bitterness. It's too precious to get caught up in consumerism and forget to slow down. It's too much about others to get distracted by our own problems.
It's likely taken you a few minutes to read this blog...what will you do with the next five minutes?
Beautiful post! What a great reminder, especially during this holiday season when it's all too easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle instead of slowing down to enjoy life's simple blessings. Every moment is a gift to be treasured!
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